{"id":1682,"date":"2019-01-22T17:10:54","date_gmt":"2019-01-22T22:10:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/?p=1682"},"modified":"2019-02-02T11:25:16","modified_gmt":"2019-02-02T16:25:16","slug":"the-heart-thief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/?p=1682","title":{"rendered":"The Heart Thief"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHeaven is a place where all the dogs you’ve ever loved come to greet you.\u201d<\/strong><\/em>\u2015 Oliver Gaspirtz<\/span><\/h4>\n

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Arleigh<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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Arleigh died last summer.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t think she would ever die but she was only four years old. Tibetan Terriers are expected to live 12 years. Some live longer. She was the first of my dogs I thought might outlive me. It turned out that was not the way things ended up for Arleigh and me.<\/p>\n

I picked her up from doggie day care on a summer afternoon and she burst through the door a bundle of Tibetan Terrier energy, thrilled as she always was to see me. Twenty-four hours later she was admitted to one of the premier critical care veterinary hospitals in New England.<\/p>\n

For three weeks we fought a pitched battle we began thinking we had a chance to win. \u201cIt\u2019s treatable,\u201d the neurology team told us.<\/p>\n

She never stood again and grew steadily worse. Until the senior neurologist sorrowfully told us that she was suffering and we had to help her go. And of course we did.<\/p>\n

It was only much later when the results of the autopsy came in that we learned we had been fighting the wrong enemy.\u00a0 Arleigh died of an infection so obscure that it was not on the panel of infectious diseases they tested her for that first night in the ICU.\u00a0 The neurologist told us in practicing medicine in New England for fourteen years he had only seen one case. And that was Arleigh.<\/p>\n

I have read there is really only the first death. All those that come after, painful as they are, never hurt you quite the same. That sudden searing pain never catches you by surprise again. Not quite. The first death for me, one sultry summer morning, also with no warning, was that of my father.\u00a0God\u2019s small gift was the last thing I ever said to him was \u201cI love you, Daddy.\u201d\u00a0 I thought of that morning when forty-five years later, once again on the twenty-sixth of July, I watched them wheel Arleigh into the ICU.<\/p>\n

She was my thirteenth dog if I count Teal, the dog who came for dinner one night with my daughter and left four years later. \u00a0I loved them all and grieved when I lost them. But Arleigh\u2019s death was different. Arleigh\u2019s death tilted my world and took my breath away.<\/p>\n

I kept only her collar and leash, and two toys.\u00a0 All the rest went \u2014to friends, to the Humane Society and to the landfill. OUT. But at every turn, she was still there. Waking in the morning, before remembering, I would reach for her, seeing for just a moment her sweet fuzzy face on the pillow next to me. Passing the living room, if I looked quickly, I would see her perched on top of the sofa, vigilantly guarding the street. And then when I blinked she was gone.<\/p>\n

People tried their best to be kind. I was told it would get better. I was told to remember how much fun we had and how happy she had been with us. I was reminded of how much joy she gave us.<\/p>\n

I was told she was only a dog. I have lost both my parents and my first husband. So I knew she was a dog. I understood the difference. But\u2026I explained to my sister, \u201cI feel the same.\u201d And she said, \u201cOf course you do. Love is love.\u201d<\/p>\n

I said loudly to everyone that I would NEVER have another dog; rudely cutting off anyone who suggested I should at least think about getting one. I had a list of reasons all very logical as to why I felt that way, but mostly I was afraid.<\/p>\n

I drifted. I stared at the pages of my unfinished third book and found myself unable to add more words to the story. I started projects only to leave them unfinished. I was sad.<\/p>\n

I began to furtively look online at the available dogs at the Humane Society and other shelters exiting the sites quickly in case I was caught.<\/p>\n

In early November, I corresponded with a breeder in Maine located about sixty miles south of the Canadian border. I told her I might be looking for an adult dog in the spring. Maybe.<\/p>\n

Shortly before Thanksgiving I visited the site again. And there I saw a dog available for purchase. She was born the same year as Arleigh. Her name is GCH Trisong\u2019s Always After Me Lucky Charms.\u00a0 Her call name is Dublin.\u00a0 I asked my husband to have a look. \u201cBuy her,\u201d he said. So I did.<\/p>\n

On New Year\u2019s Eve, we met the breeder\u2019s husband at the Portland Jetport.\u00a0 He was there to pick up a dog and offered to bring Dublin with him. We were delighted because picking her up in Portland shaved over four hundred miles off our trip to the northern reaches of Maine.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to love this dog,\u201d he said as handed her over to me. \u201cShe\u2019s an angel.\u201d<\/p>\n

She really is. \u00a0And we already do, love her that is. I wonder\u2026 Did Arleigh looking down from heaven send me an angel to heal my broken heart?<\/p>\n

\"Dublin\"<\/a>
GCH Trisong’s Always After Me Lucky Charms – Our Dublin<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHeaven is a place where all the dogs you’ve ever loved come to greet you.\u201d\u2015 Oliver Gaspirtz     Arleigh died last summer. It\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t think she would ever die but she was only four years old. Tibetan Terriers are expected to live 12 years. Some live longer. She was the first […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tibetan-terriers","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1682"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1695,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682\/revisions\/1695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathleenferrari.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}