04/30/12

Circle of Girls

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.” Lyrics from a traditional Girl Scout song

This was a weekend that reminded me about the joy that comes from sharing our lives with other girls. This circle of friendship, celebrated by countless girls in the song I have quoted above, is the true heart of women’s fiction. This is why I love writing it.

silver and gold

Links of friendship

Much is written today about the culture of “mean girls” and the long-term damage that culture causes, so much that the other side, the positive side of female friendship is often lost. I am the first one to admit that it’s a long time since I was a girl; but the ability to establish those all important friendships with other women, friendships that sustain us as we move through life, begins with the discovery, when you are a girl, of how much fun sharing life with a girlfriend is.

My granddaughter came to visit this weekend. She will be eight years old in September. We had a lot of fun with her father and grandfather but she also insisted that we have “girl time”, carefully shutting the “boys” out, allowing only the dog (a girl) and the cat (a girl) into our inner sanctum. There was dressing up, dancing, yoga, a lot of giggling and sharing of secrets and cupcakes. Everyone wore a hat. There was a lot of pink. It was,  she told me, “So fun.”

picture of a little girl

Feeling the power of being a girl!

Sunday morning, I had more fun with more girls, albeit older ones.

I was twenty-five years old when, shortly after moving into town, I joined the fledgling Bedford Junior Women’s Club. It was still okay then to refer to yourself as a girl even if you were not. I remained a member of “the Juniors” for the next eleven years, only resigning from the club when I went to work.

This was a group of smart, hard-working, compassionate women who strove to make a difference and fill whatever need they saw in their community. They had brains, talent and time. With that firmly in hand, they acted and things got done. They also took care of their own. When my husband died suddenly, the club provided my daughter and I with meals every day for the next month.

Ten of us met for brunch. Two of the women sitting at the table I count among my BFFs. One dropped her kids off with me on the way to the hospital to have her baby. I have not seen the other seven in more than twenty years. After greetings and exclamations about how great we all looked – amazingly true – we stood back and the years fell away. We were “the Juniors” once more.

Around the table we went, one at a time, sharing where our lives had taken us. The stories reached across the spectrum from joy to tragedy. Children and marriages had not always turned out as we had hoped, but grandchildren, exciting and sometimes unexpected careers, and new loves had.

Looking around the circle of vibrant, interesting women, it was clear that we had not only survived, but that we had thrived. We were happy to see and celebrate one another. Such is the power and the secret of the friendship of women; born and nurtured from the time we were girls.

It was, as my granddaughter had told  me the night before, “So fun.”

Cups on the table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04/27/12

What I am Reading – Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

It’s that we’ve done a pretty good job of becoming ourselves, and that this is, in so many ways the time of our lives.” Anna Quindlen

I admit that I relate to Anna Quindlen because we both were good little Catholic girls of Irish and Italian extraction, born in the 1950s. We came of age in the long shadow cast by the Vietnam War when America’s values were changing at a dizzying pace. We were the first generation of girls who voiced our belief that we had the right to be or do whatever we wanted to. I know because I was there and I remember.

Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, Quindlen’s new memoir, is written, first and foremost, for the girls of the fifties. In it Quindlen talks about what it meant to her to be a young woman making her way through those times. She also talks about how she  feels now as she approaches sixty, reflecting on what she has achieved and where she is today.

Anna Quindlen is a writer’s writer. She won the Pulitzer Prize for her New York Times column, “Public and Private”. She has written five best-selling novels, three of which have been made into movies. One True Thing (1994) is about a daughter called home from her exciting career in New York City to care for her dying mother. The movie version of the book stars Meryl Streep and Renee Zellweger. She has written numerous other essays, stories and opinion pieces and holds many honorary degrees.  She is, as the saying goes, the real deal.Anna Quindlen

When you learn that at the age of nineteen, Anna Quindlen left Barnard to care for her own mother, dying of ovarian cancer at age forty, a light goes on. Oh. Really. Here again is another example of a writer’s life experience informing her work. The heart of the pathos, so beautifully captured in One True Thing, is explained in Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake.

The reason that I love to write about women is that I feel that women, more so than men, carry parts of their mothers and grandmothers forward with them. Much has been written about the fact the many women today have chosen to leave their careers, enabled by expensive college educations, many at schools that once only admitted men. Instead, they choose to stay home, raise their babies and bake cupcakes as many of their grandmothers did. Many of their grandmothers did not have the right to make that choice.

Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is Anna Quindlen’s own story, but at the same time it the story of a generation’s struggle to make sure that women have choices. We fought for them. As one of those demur little white-gloved girls, frequently told to “ sit still and be good”, I am thrilled to be able to tell my granddaughters, “You can be anything that you want to be. Go for it.”

I loved Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake. Let me know what you think of it, if you decide to read it.

Photo of Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04/26/12

Finding a Balance

There’s only one way to stop a MAD WATCH. The March Hare, Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

You probably realize that today is Thursday, not Wednesday, the day I usually post my second blog of the week. I have spent the last couple of months determined to figure out the secret of blogging. In an effort to do this, I have checked out numerous author blogs.

It has slowly sunk in that while bloggers are most certainly writers, not all bloggers are also writing a new novel. This probably explains why not many fiction writers blog three times a week. I have stumbled upon more than one writer’s blog that says, “Please forgive me, I am taking a break from blogging to write. Check back from time to time to see if I have returned.” Another admitted she had cut back dramatically on social media and blogging because she found it got in the way of her writing.

I am in the middle of my second book and my characters are definitely getting restless. It might be hard to believe if you have never written fiction, but they really do have a mind of their own. My crowd is definitely getting ready to run amuck.

After considering everything, I have made a decision to cut back to only two blog posts per week starting next Monday. The clock kept stopping last week for no reason the clock man could figure out. Finally, it dawned on me that it was  the universe telling me to slow down and focus on the new book.

Clock

Time to write the next book

I will continue to blog on my writing life on Mondays. On Fridays, I will share with you what I am reading.  For now, I think that will be about the right balance for me.

I have found that I enjoy blogging. I have also learned the following:

  • It is important to set a definite schedule for when you will post a blog. I have a list of blogs that I visit and I have found myself annoyed when the expected post is not there. (So I humbly apologize for yesterday. Life really got in the way.)
  • Bloggers do need to use their own voice, quirky or, in my case, snarky as it may be. Readers who follow a certain blog do so because they enjoy it.
  • Photos are always welcome. Readers like pictures.

One of the questions that you often see in author interviews is: Who is your writer crush? I have a new one. The amazing Anna Quindlen. Stop by tomorrow for my review of her new memoir, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake.  She is a girl after my own heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04/23/12

The Power of Sex

“Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money.” Virginia Woolf

Picture of a rose

Is there any word in the English language that grabs the reader’s attention more than the word sex?  The only one I can think of might be death, but I doubt it. Sex is on my mind this morning because of the reading frenzy around E L James’ trilogy, Shades of Grey.

A little more than a month ago, I posted about the first book, Fifty Shades of Grey, on my Facebook page. I asked who was reading it. Only a couple of my Facebook friends had heard of it.

Fifty Shades of Grey made the top of the New York Times Bestseller List this morning with the second and third book in the trilogy occupying slots two and three. So a lot of people are reading it now or at least buying it.

A self-published novel that was quickly labeled “mommy porn”Fifty Shades of Grey centers on BDSM (bondage and sadomasochism) – in essence SEX, albeit a very specific type. I believe the phenomenal success of this book is tied to the fact that it was originally published as an e-book. This made it possible for readers to download it privately. Many of these readers would never dream of carrying the physical book through their local Barnes and Noble and sliding it across the counter or having the book in their homes. You can buy the books now at Barnes and Noble. I saw a huge stack of all three there last week. Social media drove the success of the first book by sending out the clear message: “You have to read this book!”

Let me tell you about my experience with sex. I enjoy it but I don’t like writing about it. It’s not easy to do it well. If you don’t believe me, try it. Everything that you put on the page comes into question. “Do you think she does that?” or “Nobody does that!” When I write about sex, I immediately see the faces of a number of people I would prefer didn’t know I was even engaging in it, never mind writing about it for all the world to see.

Why do it then? The flip answer is that it sells books as has just been proven by Fifty Shades of Grey. The more thoughtful one is that I believe it is a huge part of most women’s lives and deserves its place in the books that women are reading. The question remains. What is the best way to actually write it?

MacCullough’s Women has a sex scene in it. I like to think of it as a love scene where two characters are enjoying some pretty good sex. The first time I had to read that scene to my writers’ group we were still meeting in my living room. The only way I was able to do it was to turn my back to the group. Now we meet on the phone and  the next time will be easier. I have had three specific compliments from readers on this scene but I have also had a number of requests to put MORE sex in the next book. I don’t treat sex like commas and sprinkle it everywhere, so we will have to see what the characters decide they want to do.

As far as Fifty Shades of Grey is concerned, the impact of its success in terms of sales and buzz generated cannot be understated. Once again, despite disclaimers, we are reminded that social media marketing is a force to be reckoned with and that self-publishing, like sex, is here to stay.

Okay, I will dare to ask. Who’s read Fifty Shades of Grey and what did you think of it?

Picture of the cover

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04/20/12

What I am Reading – The Garden of Happy Endings

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”  – William Wordsworth”

I write these recommendations from the perspective of a reader but I read the books with the eyes of a writer. Every reader follows authors whose work they love and eagerly await. If you are a re-reader like I am, you pacify yourself by reading again the books the author has already written. This is how I feel about Barbara O’Neal who also writes as Barbara Samuel.

Her latest book, The Garden of Happy Endings, is about a group of people, each with his or her own problems, banding together to create a community garden in an abandoned lot next to San Roque ‘s Catholic Church.

It contains all the signature elements that you will find in Barbara’s books: damaged people wrestling with messy problems, mystical dreams and visions, tantalizing food that makes you want to go find something to eat while reading, and dogs who steal your heart.

Set in Pueblo, Colorado, The Garden of Happy Endings carries an authenticity that comes from the fact that Barbara is a Colorado native who continues to live in that part of the state. It is a story about two sisters, Thomasina (Tamsin) and Elsa –named after a cat and a lion– who find themselves living once again in the modest house where they were raised. Elsa, a recovering Catholic, driven by the fact that she was forbidden to be a priest to become a Unity minister, is facing a crisis of faith. Tamsin, the beautiful sister, is confronted by the dawning realization that her marriage, along with all the comfort and security it has provided, is not what she thought it was. Working together, each sister finds her way back to a life that is both meaningful and joyous.

Deftly woven throughout the story, you will meet three delightful little boys, an earnest priest who once was in love with Elsa, a sexy contractor who is desperately trying to make amends for past sins, Tamsin’s spoiled daughter, Alexa, and an medicine man named Joseph.

It would not be a Barbara O’Neal book without the dogs. Charlie, the flat-coated retriever, is the star, but it is the elderly black lab named Joe who got to me. If you have ever had a dog you have watched grow old, you will love him, too.

Barbara O’Neal’s books often contain elements of the mystical, crossing easily between the worlds of the living and the dead. The Garden of Happy Endings is no exception. This book contains that and more.

Finally, there is appendix that lists the recipes that are mentioned throughout the book.

In the last two weeks, I have offered you a novel based on an ancient Greek poem and an admittedly disturbing story of a post-apocalyptic dystopia. The Garden of Happy Endings is my idea of pure comfort reading. I hope you walk away, as I always do, from reading Barbara O’Neal’s books believing that it is possible to make a difference in some small way and that life is essentially good because in my heart I believe that it is.

Picture go The Garden of Happy Endings

Make sure you get a snack to go with this.

I love all Barbara’s books but my favorite remains A Piece of Heaven written under the name of Barbara Samuel. If you like this one, then I encourage you to read it. I don’t think you will be sorry.

Now I am going out to buy the ingredients to make Elsa’s Split Pea and Barley Soup. Soup Pot

 

04/18/12

Chatting with the Writer

“A character is never the author who created him. It is quite likely, however, that an author may be all his characters simultaneously.” Albert Camus

 

Coffee Cups on a tableI thought I would answer the top three questions that readers ask me:

1. Where do you get your story ideas? Do you write about your own life?

Never lose sight of the fact that all writers are poachers. This is a kinder, gentler word for thieves. Nothing is safe around a writer. Bluntly stated, we steal things: a name, a laugh, an overheard conversation, and the color of the wing chair in the local funeral home. Rosemary Sheerin’s ankles actually belonged to my own mother.

The plot for MacCullough’s Women draws heavily from the stories that I heard while attending support groups as a young widow. Those tearful conversations were full of surprises. The storyline in the book is an old one, used many times before, and still playing out today in front of the world in a courtroom in North Carolina. It explores human frailties and where they lead us.

2. Do you have a favorite character?

I am the mother of an only child and she is my favorite. I never understood how it could be true when I would hear mothers of more than one (including my own mother and my mother-in-law) say that they did not have a favorite. Now, as a writer who created several characters and sent them into the world, I understand. Some of my characters make more sense to me than others, but I love them all.

3. What is the most difficult thing about being a writer?

The most difficult thing for me is finding the time to write. I have a day job, a house, a husband and a very demanding English Cocker Spaniel. I also have a sad list of shoulds: exercise, garden, learn French, ride my bike, do yoga and meditate.

Once again, being a thief is helpful because I steal time to write, fitting it in whenever I can find an empty minute. I get up very early and write until it is time to go to work. I try to add a couple of pages at lunch and I edit in the early evening.

The second most difficult thing about being a writer is where to put the commas. The last time I counted, I owned nine books on grammar. All purchased with the intention of teaching me comma usage. Still, I am editor’s despair, as my first instinct is to treat this particular punctuation mark like chocolate chips and fold them in everywhere.

Books

You can never have too many grammar books

 

 

 

 

04/16/12

Silencing Simon aka The Voice

“As a writer, you can’t allow yourself the luxury of being discouraged and giving up when you are rejected, either by agents or publishers. You absolutely must plow forward.” Augusten Burroughs

Do you hear The Voice? An insistent hissing in your ear that reinforces every negative message you have ever heard throughout your life: “You can’t, you won’t, you don’t, you are not, you never will, you’re too old, so why don’t you just quit?”

We all have these voices following us around because at one time or another we have all heard one or more of these messages from someone, even if they were not deserved and even true. Often people feel the need to say negative or hurtful things to others because of something that has nothing to do with the situation they are commenting on. Usually, it’s about them. Unfortunately, the damage is done and The Voice files away what it hears to be used at a later date. So be prepared.

Writers are particularly susceptible because they work alone and are attempting to create something unique. Writing is an uphill slog and unless they happen to be J.K. Rowling or Stephen King, the self-professed writer is often viewed as being just a little bit off.

The Voice reached its peak for me last year as I was completing the final edits for my book. Loud, irascible and snarky with a long (and fairly accurate, unfortunately) list of everything that I had ever screwed up or not finished, The Voice would not shut up.

Around this time I was having a routine test done at the hospital, on my way past the gift shop (which in case you don’t know always has great stuff, so stop in), I found a body for The Voice: Simon, the Mandrill.

Picture of Mandrill

Aka The Voice

 

Instead of taking the coward’s path, I decided to beat Simon at his own game. I never know when he is going to show up.

Picture of Simon

Simon where you least expect him to be

One of these strategies almost always works:

 

  • Tell The Voice to be quiet. You know what you’re doing. You’ve done this or something like it before with great success. You’re a rock star.
  • Get up and move. Do jumping jacks. Run the vacuum. Drop and do pushups (I don’t do this but you can.)
  • Do nothing. Sit quietly and start breathing deeply and repeat. “I know that I can do this.”
  • Keep on doing what you need to do. In my case that is WRITE. Focus on what it is you need to do to reach the next step.  And you will.

If all else fails, I have found this to work…

Simon in  a drawer

Get lost, Simon

 

 

04/13/12

What I am Reading – Pure

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.” Aldous Huxley

I hesitated before deciding to review Pure by Julianna Baggott. It is not for the faint of heart even though it was originally written for the Young Adult (YA) audience. Many scenes are very disturbing. Not because they are graphic but rather because they portray horror almost but not quite beyond the imagination.

I decided to do it for two reasons. First, this novel illustrates what I love about being a writer. Julianna Baggott, the author of seventeen books, also writes as N.E. Bodie and as Bridget Asher. N.E. Bodie writes for preteens and Bridget Asher writes deliciously romantic women’s fiction. Clearly, Ms Baggott writes about what she wants to as the muse calls her, proving herself to be an incredibly talented and prolific writer. This, as you may have already guessed, is every writer’s dream.

The second reason is that buried deep in the acknowledgements – I know you don’t probably read them but trust me a writer always does – I found the following:

“The research for this novel led me to the accounts of the effects of the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki…And I hope, in general, that Pure directs people to nonfiction accounts of the atomic bomb – horrors we cannot afford to forget.”

And now, on to Pure.

“A great gorgeous whirlwind of a novel, boundless in its imagination. You will be swept away.” — Justin Cronin, New York Times bestselling author of THE PASSAGE

Pure is a story about Pressia, a sixteen-year old girl living with her grandfather in the remains of a barbershop in post-apocalyptic America. She is one of the Wretches, survivors of a nuclear blast known as the Detonations. The blast left those who survived burned, mutilated and fused to whatever they were holding or standing near at the time it happened. Pressia’s grandfather has a fan embedded in this throat and Pressia’s right hand is now a plastic doll’s head. Shortly after the novel opens, she is forced to flee the dreaded OSR solders who are assigned to round up all children when they reach their sixteenth birthday.

Pure also describes those who were saved. Known as the Pures, they live an isolated life in the Dome. Partridge, the son of one of the leaders, escapes to try and find his mother said to have been killed when the bright light of the atomic blast took place.

This is the story of what happens when Partridge and Pressia collide in the desolate and dangerous landscape of the world outside the Dome. The plot has some very interesting twists; some you might expect to find if you read this genre and one amazing turn that will leave you breathless. It is the characters that grab you and won’t leave you: Bradwell, the boy with birds fused to his back, Lyda Mertz, El Captain and his brother Helmut, The Good Mother, Sedge and many more.

If you like pleasant and happy books, Pure is probably not for you. It is the first of trilogy. And the movies rights have been sold. Coming on the heels of the amazing success of The Hunger Games, we can most likely expect to see a lot more of Pressia.

One reason you might want to read this book is that your children and grandchildren probably already have.

Picture of Pure

Whose brave enough to read it?

Does anyone besides me wonder why these dystopian novels have such great appeal to the young adult audience?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04/11/12

And so the Writer Decides to go on a Diet

“Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast. Logan P. Smith

Once it was a lot easier to be a writer. It was a hunched over your typewriter in the garret (or the basement or the garage) kind of job. Who cared about what the writer looked like anyway? Most writers had a formal black and white portrait, printed fairly small, taken for the bottom of the back flap of the book jacket. I am pretty sure nobody but the writer’s mother even looked at it. And they used that picture until they died. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating but I can assure you not by much.

Writing is a solitary “holed up somewhere” job.  A job that begs for comfortable clothes and plenty of food close at hand. Writers love food that is not usually green and often has a last name of chip. Candy works well, too. The more frustrated the writer is, the more the writer eats or at least this one does. I have never heard of a writer who can’t eat because they are stuck over what to do with an uncooperative character or a scene that refuses to work. The default definitely is to eat.

Writers did not go on book tours. Some did not attend their own book launch parties. Some writers didn’t even venture out to meet their editors being as they say reclusive. They “corresponded” about the book using the United States Mail Service. The manuscript in its various stages was sent in special boxes called manuscript boxes back and forth until everyone agreed it was finished. This allowed the writer to look exactly as they pleased and not have to worry about their image. It was about the book not the writer.

Today the writer is everywhere. If you read my last post you know what I am talking about. Facebook, blogs, videos (I shudder at the thought!). It all translates into pictures. Way too many pictures of the writer. This may be why a lot of writers are showing you cute pictures of their dogs and cats.

I have an author photo. I actually like it. Trust me, it took a village to produce this carefully staged version of me.

Author photo

My official author photo

The problem is, as you have most likely noticed, I have to post lots of other pictures. Pictures where I am out in the world, shall we say, unenhanced. Of course, certain things are what they are. But, I have noticed lately from some of these pictures that I could stand to lose a few pounds.

Picture of Kathleen Ferrari

The writer looking a little overfed.

Twenty-three pounds to be exact. This is how many pounds over my official Weight Watcher lifetime member goal that I am. I have decided that if I am going to be in everyone’s face or Facebook, the least I can do is look my best.

My plan is to be back at my goal weight by November first. This may seem like a long time but it translates to losing about a pound each week. As a veteran of the Weight Loss War, I know that this is realistic. I should be at goal about the time I will need a new author photo for my next book.

I will keep you posted.

Sneakers and cookbooks

On a path...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

V

“Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast. Logan P. Smith

 

Once it was a lot easier to be a writer. It was a hunched over your typewriter in the garret (or the basement or the garage) kind of job.  Who cared about the writer anyway? Most writers had a small, formal black and white portrait taken for the bottom of the back flap of the book. I am pretty sure nobody but the writer’s mother even looked at it. And they used that picture until they died. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating but I can assure you not by much.

 

Writers did not go on book tours. Some did not attend their own launch parties. It was about the book. Some writers didn’t venture out to meet their editors. They “corresponded” about the book using the United States Mail Service. The manuscript in its various stages was sent in special boxes called manuscript boxes back and forth until everyone agreed it was finished. This allowed the writer to look exactly as they pleased and not have to worry about their image. It was about the book.

 

Writing is a solitary “hold up somewhere” job.  A job that begs for comfortable clothes and plenty of food close at hand. Writers love food that is not usually green and often has a last name of chip. Candy works well, too.  The more frustrated the writer is, the more the writer eats or at least this one does.  I have never heard of a writer who can’t eat because they are stuck over what to do with an uncooperative character or a scene that refuses to work. The default definitely is to eat.

 

Today the writer is everywhere. If you read my last post you know what I am talking about it.  Facebook, blogs, videos (I shudder at the thought!). It all translates into pictures. Way too many pictures of the writer. This may be why a lot of writers are showing you cute pictures of their dogs and cats.

 

I have an author photo. I actually like it.  Trust me, it took a village to produce this carefully staged vision of me.

 

 

The problem is as you have most likely noticed I have to post lots of other pictures. Pictures where I am out in the world, shall we say, unenhanced. Of course, certain things are what they are. But, I have noticed lately from some of these pictures that I could stand to lose a few pounds.

 

 

Twenty-three pounds to be exact.  This is how many pounds over my official Weight Watcher lifetime member goal that I am.  I have decided that if I am going to be in everyone’s face or Facebook, the least I can do is look my best.

 

My plan is to be back at my goal weight by November first. This may seem like a long time but it translates to about a pound loss each week. As a veteran of the Weight Loss War, this is realistic. This time frame should be about the time I will need a new author photo for my next book.

 

I will keep you posted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04/9/12

RU a Luddite?

“The proper artistic response to digital technology is to embrace it as a new window on everything that’s eternally human, and to use it with passion, wisdom, fearlessness and joy.”- Ralph Lombreglia

I learned a new word: Luddite.

I had to check two dictionaries to find the definition but here it is:

One who opposes technical or technological change.

As a writer trying to connect with my audience, stay on top of what’s happening in the fast-paced and constantly changing world of publishing and publicize my book, I was told you HAVE TO use Social Media. HAVE TO.

So what does this mean for me? I have an author Fan Page on Facebook. I am supposed to be tweeting at least 10 tweets a day. I am on Pinterest. I have email for my job, email for writing and email for my personal stuff. I have a website for my book. And I just started texting on my phone. Phew!

I also have this blog. I have committed to writing three times each week and barring catastrophe I intend to do so.

My office

My Writing World

I have numerous friends who think I am nuts. I am constantly warned about the dangers of doing “that stuff.” At the heart of the matter they are right. Social Media definitely should be marked with a  “Proceed with caution” sign. Because accounts do get hacked, identities and vital information can and do get stolen, people do post stupid, controversial or hurtful things, and people you don’t want to be in touch with can surface. But…

Before you completely refuse to even consider using Social Media of any kind, take a step back, put your doubts on hold for fifteen minutes and think about how you can customize using some of these things in a way that works for you. My advice is to move slowly, follow other people on whatever site you decide is for you and decide who the people are that you think are using it well. And then start to do the same things.

I joined Facebook before I published MacCullough’s Women. The reason was because my daughter was moving to Dublin, Ireland. Facebook has been such a gift to me in terms of me keeping up with what’s happening in her life. More than a hundred years ago, my great grandmother had three children who made that trip going the other way. I can only imagine how her heart most have broken knowing that in a very real sense she was losing them forever.

If you are reading, this then you do have a computer and you do read things online. I urge you to continue to keep an open mind and embrace the technology that allows you to bring more joy into your life.

Pen

Of course, I can always still resort to this.

 

What Social Media do you use and enjoy?